01 January 2010

"2 AM" #Fridayflash

It's two am and I'm missing you. I've reached out every third Sunday and shivered at the expanse of white cotton that's greeted my searching fingers.

The ground's thawed out a little. The frost cleared for a few days, long enough for the blossoms to return to crisp demeanor. It was blue and rose, this last sort of handkerchief left fluttering, attached to an effigy in the untouched corners of your continuous haunt.

There are no chains strong enough to bind you to that pale horse and so I've been lost in thought, drifting alongside that dark highway, stumbling toe-to-heel, shoes dangling from a casual hand, but it'd be warmer if yours was near.

Listen to the moon sing silver and the clouds tumble haphazardly as I dig deep trenches around you because I can't stand to look at your face one last time.

I have to fool myself into thinking I never found you at all.

Your eyes are nothing but dust, yet I feel them stab between my shoulder blades, as sure as the sweat that slides between my breasts as if it's July, and not January morning.

I dug nails into the engraved edges of your name. Gold ink spilled in a little folded paper, just enough to make the first letter stand out.

Your bulk and your breath are sorely needed.

26 comments:

Christina said...

I'm close to tears here. Feels like my heart is being crushed. Absolutely gorgeous.

elizabethditty said...

You create some of the most beautiful imagery. I'd be fascinated to see what kind of film you'd write.

Draco Torre said...

Beautiful and vivid, the emotion pours from the words into my heart.

Laura Eno said...

Distraught emotions bleed from your words. Loved the 'Listen to the moon sing silver.'

Karen from Mentor said...

"I have to fool myself into thinking I never found you at all."


That single line just screams with pent up emotion.

Very rich work. It reads more like a poem or a song than flash. Just lovely.
Thank you for sharing.
Karen :0)

~Tim said...

There's just so much to like here. Beautiful imagery.

Michelle said...

Wow , the visuals I get when I read your work.
I love that last line... gasp...

Linda said...

Gorgeous. This isn't prose, it isn;t poetry, but something that transcends the two forms. My heart is numb now. Peace, Linda

Carrie said...

Thank you all for visiting. I suppose it's just one of those weirder things that sneak out when I'm not paying attention. Happy New Years to everyone.

Wookies Girl said...

Carrie this is beautiful. I think I need to read it like 6 more times to understand everything. I love the way it seems to twist and turn... Agony and love all wrapped up in one. Gorgeous!

Jodi MacArthur said...

The tone of this touches me more than anything. The way you start off with sundays, white cotton, frost...someone said something about their heart feeling crushed. It's exactly like that.

I just adore your work, Carrie. Keep it up.

Sam said...

Wonderful, wonderful imagery. Just beautiful.

Marisa Birns said...

Lush, vivid narrative.

As someone mentioned, poetic prose at it's finest.

Last sentence is heartbreaking.

ganymeder said...

Beautiful.

Anne Tyler Lord said...

Wow! So beautiful and haunting!

I want to pull out a favorite phrase that touched me, but couldn't, they are all beautiful, intense, and amazing!

Poetic prose at it's finest!

theothersideofdeanna said...

You just get better and better Carrie. I can only second what everyone else has said - beautiful piece. I agree with Elizabethditty about being fascinated to see what kind of film you'd write - would love that.
Though it's nearly impossible to choose a favorite line, I have to say "...July, and not January morning" is among the top.
Fantastic work!

G.P. Ching said...

Your words paint the picture of loss so clearly. I agree with others who have said it is a kind of poetry. Excellent!

Chance said...

Fantastic opening and this was extremely smooth

Good stuff

mazzz_in_Leeds said...

I got a particularly strong punch from the same line Karen did, but the whole thing was heart-wrenching. Continuous haunt indeed

Michael Solender said...

this work simply drips with poetic nuance, lush rich and fine finish like a good cabernet. well done!

Christian Bell said...

Beautiful and poetic. Great work.

Tim Remp said...

Powerful work brimming with emotion. I enjoyed this throughly.

http://timremp.blogspot.com/

Chadwick said...

Great work as always. Such a smooth flow.

Weezel said...

Haunting and touching . . . I didn't want to stop reading!

Jim_Wisneski said...

Carrie,

What a beautiful story here. I love the poetic feel, the imagery, and the simpleness to it. BUT it still packs a punch that rivals stories in the 10,000 plus range.

Wonderful job!

Jim

Dana said...

That's completely amazing imagery. And your prose can be some wonderfully lyrical!