16 April 2010

"Crooked Fang" #Fridayflash

This week I wasn't sure if I'd even have a piece to share. I lost my guitar hero, Peter Steele. If you have anything to do with me, you're already aware of the status level of my absolute distress. Still, I was browsing Type O Negative's website and inspiration struck. Xan Marcelles, aka Crooked Fang bassist doesn't have a bio. As it is entirely fictional, I figured I'd make you chuckle if I could. Smile for me. I'll catch up later. 


Type O Negative's official site
Crooked Fang's menial blog


Xanox Marcelles,  (born Gabriel Nez on October 8, 1958) is the backing vox, bassist, and full-time asshole for his band, aptly named Crooked Fang. Preferring to stay out of the spotlight as much as possible,  Xan can usually be seen lurking in the intentional shadows onstage during the small shows randomly held at PALE RIDER in the backwoods of Pinecliffe, Colorado.

When not plucking four strings, cursing, drinking, or sleeping in, Xan often takes assignments off ‘those kind of people’ but no worries—he only offs other vamps.

That’s right, Xan is also a vampire. Shit—I thought he told you. 

In his spare time Xan enjoys tinkering under the hood, drinking, social networking, drinking, smoking, drinking, women, and occasionally kicking himself in the teeth. After a drink.

Xan’s main musical influences include Roger Waters, Peter Steele, Glenn Danzig, (The original one) and any other badass musician with a good set of pipes, inhuman percussion techniques, or bass sweet enough to feel in the cockles.

Crooked Fang is comprised of Jason, Josh, and a certain missing vocalist named Serv. Xan swears he’s not taking that spot.

Crooked Fang is hiring lead vox. Preferably immortal and not a douche bag.

16 comments:

Aislinn O'Connor said...

So sorry about the loss of Peter Steele - I suspect he might enjoy this just as much as I did :-)

John Wiswell said...

This was a big departure from everything I've read of yours before, Carrie. Kind of wildly amusing, too. I don't even know how to classify this type of humor, but I'd like to read more shorts like it.

Mine this week (since your Comments feature asks for a link): http://bit.ly/aDMdgO

Cathy Olliffe said...

Hey Carrie, nice work in spite of everything goin' on ... sorry to hear about Peter Steele.
You still got it, whatever "it" is... all that and more.
You put a smile on my tired mug and that's saying plenty.

Marisa Birns said...

This did make me smile.

Loved learning this about Xan. As you know, I'm crazy about that vamp!

Last line is perfect.

Bukowski's Basement said...

This def. had a style and panache to it. Sorry that you're so sad about the loss of Steele. I seriously felt like that last summer when MJ died suddenly. Plus I had to write about it at work. Surreal...

Benjamin Solah said...

I bet this was fun to write. I learnt a lot about the characters, wet the appetite so to speak.

Gracie said...

This is very imaginative. You should send to Xan-- maybe he'll use it. Stranger things have happened. :)

Nice piece.

Laura Eno said...

Nice intro to Xan...
I loved the last line!

PJ said...

Ah, if only all our fav peeps could b immortal ;-) nice piece.

Eric J. Krause said...

Very nice. I loved the laid back style of it. Enjoyed this one, as with all your work, a TON!

Cecilia Dominic said...

Very much enjoyed this one! Makes me wonder which of my musical idols are immortals. :)

CD

mazzz_in_Leeds said...

It's good to write something a bit silly every so often!
I like the sound of Xan, sounds like fun, and seeing as he only offs other vamps, I'd join him for a beer or ten...

mazzz_in_Leeds said...

Only just spotted the request for a link to commenters' #fridayflashes:
http://mazzz-in-leeds.com/2010/04/dressed-to-kill/

Chris Chartrand said...

I could see this piece on the back flap of the book. Perfect amount of humor. I smiled for you.

J. M. Strother said...

I'm so sorry for your loss, it is sad when the talents we find solace and inspiration in pass away. I think he would like this piece. May his music continue to inspire.
~jon

My #fridayflash this week: The Road to Audrain.
http://jmstrother.com/MadUtopia/?p=845

estrella05azul said...

This was such a fun read, loved it! Your last line was the best ending line :)