Photo credit: xandert from morguefile.com
She left me here. Ragged and weeping on the floor like a leaking faucet. Bats fly in a blurred tornado of red ears and beaded black eyes. Fingers twitch and face itches from the tiny haired feet of a spider.
She lied to get me here. Face stitched to the cut-pile carpet with undulating waves of russet sunset and one very thin thread of azure. She was so sure. Took awhile to lie down and wait for the numb and shock of thunder to transverse my system.
I should’ve listened.
Should’ve bared my soul long ago and taken the hand that would’ve been here. Now that my time is near. I don’t know where I’m headed but it sure isn’t heaven.
I hear her below and I still can’t take in breath long enough to break this frozen death to knock three times and let her know I still want her.
There's a almost poetic lilt to the rhythm of this piece. Tonally very dark. Good work.
Oh wow... this was damp, cold, and chilling. The brevity of the language makes it even more dank.
Carrie, if I was wearing a hat right now, I would tip it.
Lovely dark piece of art this is. Bravo.
"She lied to get me here" just sent a frisson up my spine. What a great reaction for a piece of writing to prompt in a reader!. Formidable as the french say
Chilling beauty. You are Goddess of the Dark Arts. Peace...
Consummate Carrie - dark and eerie!
Nothing like a lonely death. I'm a wimp, and I know it, but the spider on the face chilled me most. Great phrasing.
This wrecks poetry. I'll take your prose any day. I wasn't so into the rhythm of words as the rhythm of sentiments, Carrie. The ebb and flow well in the tiny paragraphs.
The details in your stories give them such power. Could see the russet and azure carpet. I, too, found that the image of the tiny spider on the face brought the chills. And I'm not afraid of spiders!
Awesome last paragraph.
I love how dark and cryptic this piece is. I agree with Dan - I can see poetry in this.
Very dark and very well written. I enjoyed this a TON.
I'm with Marisa - this brought chills even though I don't usually mind spiders either.
Very well written Carrie!
Wonderfully dark and quite eerie.
Adam B @revhappiness
Darkly poetic and quite chilling. The brevity makes it even more so.
Mmm... Yes. Thank you, dark heart.
Dark and lovely.
"Goddess of the Dark Arts." A perfect description for you, Carrie, courtesy of Linda (who always knows the right words, by the way).
This was really quite amazing, Carrie.
I wish I knew how you did it.
Quite a dark and chilling piece.
That was powerfully heavy, mysterious and intense. Love your dark crawl spaces.
Gorgeous, dark, terrifying. A small obsidian jewel, this.
You've blown me away again.
You weave words like casting a spell. Prose or poetry I do not know what this Flash is but its effect on me was something visceral.
You always seem to pack an emotional wallop into such a small space.
Wonderful as always
Well done, Carrie - horror at its best (worst?) ;-)
No one does darkness quite like you, my dear.
Quite dark, and the poetry in this is top notch.
Beautiful scene. Amazing job getting a whole story into such small space and writing it with such captivating language as well.
I think I know the crazy chick. Poor protagonist... If I were in his situation, I wouldn't be knocking three times; I'd be cursing her to the very last breath.
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