10 January 2014

The Liar #Fridayflash

That sure as hell wasn't five minutes. What do you mean? No. I won't accept that answer. You're out of your fucking mind. Yeah, I heard you and no, I don't care. I won't. I can't. Please? Pretty please? I'd donate vital organs at this point if you would. No, really. I would. I swear!

You're breaking my heart here. See? It's pouring out on the floor in some kind of gelatinous mutiny. There are pirates in those sticky red waters. Stop it.

Why though? Why?

It's impossible. You jumped through a time portal in order to arrive five minutes later. It's not that to me. Will you quit? Just stop?

I'm begging you. Stretch out time. If you chewed it for awhile, it'd get soft. Like reworked bubble gum snatched from under a school desk. God no. I haven't done that. That'd be gross!

Fine! Now fuck off! I mean it. I'll find something heavy to hit you with. Does it look like I'm kidding?

Alright. Alright! Enough already. You've ruined my entire day with your screeching. I'll get up.

Even though you're a goddamned liar.

4 comments:

Larry Kollar said...

To be honest, I'm having a hard time unpacking this one. Got a Cliff's Notes, or am I just being more obtuse than usual?

John Wiswell said...

I've also accused of not making it to five minutes like this, but not because of time travel.

David G. Shrock said...

I like the bubble gum analogy. I might have to chew on that for a while.

Li said...

Is this directed at the snooze button, by any chance? :-) I never used one. My alarm clock is all the way across the room so I HAVE to get up and shut it off. I hate it, but it's effective.